Threat To The Community, Lost In Time – Part VIII

16.“They don’t tell you how to deal with discriminatory landlords who don’t want her living in their property because dementia has rendered her, in their eyes, a ‘threat to the community.”

I am not sure here exactly why the landlord feels this way. My guess is that the mom is living alone with Lewy Body Dementia, and the daughter who cares for her is living somewhere else. It seems to me that she needs a higher level of care then what she is currently receiving. It may even be time to find a facility if the daughter is unable to take on full time care.

17. They don’t tell you how to not laugh when she insists that you give ‘the kids’ a bath, because ‘the kids’ only exist in her head but you still run the bath and carry out an impressively elaborate child-bathing mime because it makes her happy, and she doesn’t have an awful lot to be happy about these days.                            Kids in bath

I give the writer credit here because it sounds like she did “carry out the impressively elaborate child-bathing mime to make her mom happy.” Hallucinations are common with Lewy Body Dementia and where possible, it is best to go along with the hallucinations unless it harmful.  If going along with the hallucination would in some way be harmful, try to distract her to another topic. Offer her something to eat that she really likes!  

But always be aware that the person may be sharp enough to figure out what you are doing and so you must be careful when applying the distraction.  Next to Alzheimer’s Disease, Dementia with Lewy Bodies is the most common and one of the hardest dementia’s to deal with.  

18. They don’t tell you what to say when your 67 year old mother cries because she thinks she’s 12 and panics because she can’t find her (long dead) mother and she’s packed all her belongings and begs you to just take her home.

Bag LadyI call this behavior “lost in time.”  She is living in a memory that has long since past but it’s as real to her now as it was then.  Don’t try to bring her to the present. If you can, go along with her, and let her know that mother is just fine and will be there when she gets home. Then interact with her and try to get her mind onto something else.  Agree with her that you understand she wants to go home but mom stepped out to the store and we are going to meet up with her in a little while.  Right now is not the best time to go home, because mom isn’t there until later, then offer her a favorite candy, snack or some treat that she loves. Ask her to help you with something in the kitchen or that you need help folding laundry.  If need be, walk with her to some activity or another place where she gets her mind off of her agenda…

It is my sincere hope that this person who took the time to complain that all she wants is answers and she was unable to get them, was able to follow this series. I trust that if you are dealing with a loved one with Lewy bodies dementia and are having difficulties, you will take a moment and contact me. I am here to listen and to support you. Be sure to download the free PDFs located on this site for your convenience.

I also would encourage you to let me know what topics you would like me to cover. May God Bless you as you freely give of yourself for the sake of another.

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