No Friends Left, Sadness, Anger – Part VII

13.  “They don’t tell you about the friends she’s had for years who gradually stop coming to visit because they ‘hate seeing her like that’. I’m pretty sure she hates being ‘like that’ too, but she could really do with a friend. They’ll all be at her funeral though, because that’s what friends are for, isn’t it?”

It is very disheartening when it appears that she has no friends left and they stop coming to visit her because they “hate seeing her like that”.  This is selfishness on their part and they are not her true friends.  Sad as it is, it is what it is. People are very afraid of this disease. As soon as someone starts forgetting things, they immediately think they are suffering with dementia. This simply isn’t true and we must all work to remove the stigma of dementia and educate people that this is not a contagious disease!

You are right, she hates being like that too.  Try contacting her “friends” and arrange a date with them to visit with her. Explain to them that she needs support and she in the same person, but different.  I know it will make her day if one of them showed up!

14.  “They don’t tell you how to deal with the crushing realization that she’s never even going to be able to phone you again, let alone see you get married or be a grandmother to your kids.”

This is sad but true.  It is crushing and we grieve daily, over these things.  I assure you that we have all felt this. Having the support of a group or a one on one relationship with a friend or coach works wonders.  This is why I share in my complimentary material that finding support at the beginning of this diagnosis is critical.  Don’t wait. Get help early.

15.  “They don’t tell you how to channel the anger you feel when you realize that your fellow 30-somethings’ lives now revolve around marriage, mortgages and kids and yours revolves around a terminally ill, confused old lady who doesn’t even know who you are. They’ve chosen their responsibilities; you’d give anything not to have yours.”

Angry WomanAnger is a common emotion when caring for someone living with dementia. In fact there are many emotions that crop up and could catch you off guard.

Do you know what to do with your emotions? Do you know how to resolve the anger and the bitterness quickly so that it doesn’t have a chance to affect you physically?

Emotions can get the best of us when we are under a lot of stress.  Not dealing with them correctly can do real damage to our bodies and our relationships with our loved ones.  So what do you do with the unresolved anger and frustration?

I have a method that I use with my clients and students that heals areas of our lives where we feel these negative emotions.  It’s an exercise we use to resolve those uncomfortable negative emotions that we feel in our bodies. You know, like when you have to stand up in front of people to talk and you get the jitters, or you have to talk to someone and you know it will not be a pleasant conversation?

Anger is a normal human emotion that is rarely a pretty one; it can be downright embarrassing, and dangerous.

Anger can range from mild mild frustration to out of control rage; affecting your emotional, physical and mental state. The part of the brain that responds first when anger strikes is the amygdala. It is located deep within the temporal lobe of the brain and is the center of our fight or flight response.  When we become angry our body produces and releases 2 hormones, cortisol and adrenaline.

When we are under chronic stress, we carry an increased amount of cortisol in our bodies which is havoc on our systems. It affects our muscles which is why we feel exhausted and our brains. Over a long period of time the increased amounts of cortisol can cause us to develop Alzheimer’s disease.

If you tend to become angry often, you should consider the damaging effect of the increased cortisol on the brain. Researchers have found that a continued supply of ‘trigger and effect anger’ confuse the hippocampus (stress responder in the brain) and results in your inability to control your anger response all together.

There have also been studies showing anger in the brain disrupts the growth of new neurons, essential to sending messages and communicating with the rest of the body.

Some Anger Management Tips

If you care about your health, and prolonging your future, consider anger management. Remember, replacing a bad habit with a new one takes practice and and time.

Try some of these anger management tips suggested by the Mayo Clinic:

  • Think before you speak
  • Let your mind clear before expressing your thoughts so you can think clearly (The old Count to 10)
  • Exercise to work off the frustration
  • Walk away and Take a Timeout before you say or do something you might regret
  • Refocus your anger to finding solutions instead of concentrating on the problem
  • Stick with ‘I’ statements when expressing your feelings, so the discussion does not become about who’s fault it is instead of the real issues
  • Learn to forgive
  • Laugh Laugh Laugh.  Even at the height of an argument, if you force yourself to take a moment and start laughing, your mood immediately changes
  • Learn relaxation skills that are most beneficial to you in most situations: breathing slowly as you concentrate on your breath, yoga, write your feelings down in a journal, look in a mirror and remind yourself to calm down and relax over and over again until you start to feel calmer.
  • Realize when anger management tips are not enough seeking help would be more beneficial.

Don’t let anger overtake you and ruin your relationships and the important things in your life. Prolonged anger is detrimental to the heart and the brain. Learning to convert anger into a positive experience will make your life a happier place.

Some known health problems associated with anger include:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Sleeplessness
  • High Blood Pressure
  • Risk of Coronary Disease
  • Skin problems like increased acne
  • Headaches or Migraines
  • Digestive irregularities

 

If we don’t resolve anger and bitterness, it can not only affect us physically but we open the door to our own demise.

Once my technique is implemented and resolved, you will be at peace and it won’t return.

I am currently offering a Complimentary Discovery Call to help you learn exactly how to:

  • Learn the secret to balancing work, family, caring for your loved one and taking care of you!
  • Get control of the decision making for your loved one without causing World War III!
  • Communicate effectively and minimize frustration and stress for both you and your loved one

You will leave this session knowing exactly what to do to relieve your stress.

You’ll have a clear action plan & some tools to make it happen.

You’ll feel:

Stress Free

Renewed

Refreshed and

Re-Energized

To request your complimentary session Click Here.

Matthew 11:28  “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

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P.S. If you have not gotten your free copy of my PDF : “7 Easy Tips To Help You Care For Your Loved One Without Causing You StressClick Here and download it for today!

 

P.S.S.  Our final post in the series is coming up!  Don’t miss Lost in Time.  Coming soon!

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